Dear New York: The People Are Willing to Negotiate

Composed on the 2nd of June in the year 2020, at 3:28 PM. It was Tuesday.

These are the assumptions we’ll be working under: There is no federal government. There is a potentially hostile military power several hundred miles away. They will not send aid; they may send one of the most powerful fighting forces in the world to impose martial law. That’s going to make us all look pretty stupid, so we’re going to try to avoid any further public or private engagement with the White House. Our congressional representatives should return immediately to help with the following proposals. We are alone at best, and we need to hunker down and see what comes out the other side.

What’s left of our institutions is being held together by a patchwork of private businesses. There has been no significant action from our city or state government; that’s going to have to change immediately. First, we’re going to need money. This is a beg, borrow, or steal situation. Neither debt nor the future economy is a concern; the most important thing is the distribution of vital goods and services. We will have to reach out on a local level to nearby city and state governments for both aid and to ensure the supply chain can continue to operate between neighboring states. No more taxes will be sent to the federal government, since, as stated, they are a hostile organization. This will help with funding emergency measures.

Hazard pay and tax forgiveness will be awarded indefinitely to anyone considered an essential worker. To the best of its ability, the city will provide care packages of food, medicine, protection, disinfectant, and any other necessities to anyone otherwise unable to procure them. There is no need for applications, only coverage: Load up the trucks and start with the poorest neighborhoods.

Rent will be suspended citywide. Landlords will not have to make mortgage payments. We’ll sort this out later. If the banks complain, we can assume the bankers have all fled and we have their buildings. Any private security firms hired by these banks will of course be disarmed by police and escorted out of the city.

Speaking of the police, some real things are going to have to happen. Given that the NYPD is essentially a standing army, it needs to start acting like one. Stop-and-frisk and broken windows policies are over. All investigations of police misconduct will be made public, and there will be a separate public statement made for each bullet discharged from a police firearm explaining why. Any officer caught in a lie will be fired without pension and prosecuted. Strict policies on the use of force will be put in place, and all officers will be held accountable for violating them. Soldiers in war zones can apprehend armed enemy combatants safely and without undue force, there is no excuse for police to be less capable.

More research on reducing police violence has already been done by Campaign Zero. Look it up. These demands on the police department are non-negotiable.

Once the city is stabilized, we can begin going to neighboring regions to assist resource distribution and create sustainable local partnerships.

Our nation divided and fell, but it may be possible to grow a network of partner states working for the good of the people. This will only be possible by recognizing that the cataclysm is here, and we can lead by example.

We look forward to seeing what you can bring to the table. The alternative is the city shreds itself in hate and plague. Let’s not and tell the president we did.

Feel my cancer, puny lifeforms! AHAHAHA


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